


dad said it’s my turn with the childhood trauma

by blackcoffeebrokenglass



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, More Crying, Nightmares, reginald hargreeves can eat shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:20:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23292352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackcoffeebrokenglass/pseuds/blackcoffeebrokenglass
Summary: Five wakes up from a nightmare post-apocalypse.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Kudos: 102





	dad said it’s my turn with the childhood trauma

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS  
> (don't read if you haven't watched the whole season)

_“Klaus!”_

_Five ran, stumbling across the uneven rocks and debris, eyes fixed on his (disaster of a) brother’s blue scarf, a beautiful spot of bright color against the dull landscape. His shoes skidded against the dirt, he leapt over a concrete chunk that threatened to trip him, and his gaze rested on Klaus's unmoving form, bringing his frantic dash to a halt and wiping the smile from his face. Klaus was still and ashen gray, pinned under a colossal mound of steel and rock debris, dried blood forming a line across his jaw, stemming from his mouth, clotting in his hair. Five dropped to his knees beside Klaus, reaching out, feeling as if he may be sick from the moment he felt Klaus's cold hands, but he searched, checking for a pulse, for anything that would show him Klaus was alive._

_He found nothing._

_Dropping his brother’s hand, he glanced up, desperate, and his eyes fell upon Luther, then Allison, then Diego and Vanya, all pinned beneath, or sprawled over the debris much like Klaus was, every one of them a horrible color, bloody and still._

_But Five didn’t stop searching and searching, his exhausted body falling beside each in turn, scraping his knees rather badly on the ground, checking them for a pulse, everything, anything. His hands were covered in blood and dust by the end of it, but he didn’t care._

_He lifted himself up, grief robbing him of the last of his strength, and collapsed beside Vanya, hoping, yet hopeless, that she might be alive, at least._

_Vanya’s eyes were open, dull and stiff in an expression of terror. Her hands were frozen, reaching out towards Five, and her hair was caked with dust and blood. He took her by the wrists, begging himself to find a pulse this time, but she was as dead as the others._

_A strangled cry broke from the boy’s throat, hands digging into the dirt beneath him._

Five woke up, throwing a hand over his mouth to hush the sob that burst from him. His face was damp with tears, and sweat plastered his hair to his forehead. He slid out of bed, heart racing, shaking terribly, but with the obsessive urge to just _check_ , to just make sure everyone was all right. 

The halls of the Academy were silent as Five made his way first to Allison’s room, then Luther’s. Allison was smiling a bit in her sleep, they were both breathing, and god, Luther snored like a gorilla, which Five supposed was pretty accurate.

Klaus was passed out (probably drunk) on the couch between bedrooms, a blanket thrown over him, likely by Diego. He too was breathing, his hair clean and face free from blood. He was okay.

Five had to pause for a minute before checking on Diego, as the volume of his sobs escalated beyond his control, and he had to bite the sleeve of his pajamas between his teeth to muffle the noise. Once he had quieted a bit, he slipped into his brother’s room, staring at Number Two's chest until he saw it rise and fall. 

Diego was alive. They were all alive, but Vanya...

He hadn’t checked on her yet, and he was sure he’d find her dead. Approaching her room, anxiety mounting terribly in him, the image of her body grew vivid in his mind’s eye, and he sunk to the ground, body trembling with suppressed emotion, biting down harshly on his sleeve (and consequently his arm, he was certain it would bruise later on). Tears blurred his vision, and he curled into himself as he heard footsteps approaching, hoping whoever it was would leave him alone.

“Five?” It was Vanya’s voice, but that couldn’t be. She was dead, he’d seen it, held her lifeless body in his arms just moments ago and...

_It was a dream. A dream, Five. You checked on everyone else, see, Vanya’s alive, too._

His sister was crouching in front of him, and Five was seized by a thought in the back of his mind, of how small and pathetic he probably looked. 

His sister reached out a hand, but only halfway, pausing. “What happened?”

Five found the strength to uncurl a bit, although he still shook like a leaf in the wind, and he could feel hot tears streaking his face. “Nothing. Bad dreams, s’ all.”

“Bullshit. You’re really scared.” Vanya reached the rest of the way to him, cool hand curving across his cheek.

Something inside Five snapped at the gesture, and he shoved her hand away, rising unsteadily, sleeve scrubbing the tears off his face. Vanya rose too, crossing her arms, her eyes piercing.

A small sob, a hiccup, really, escaped Five, and he clapped a hand across his mouth, shuddering. 

"Right." Vanya looped an arm around his shoulders, and, before he could protest, half-supported, half-dragged him along to the Academy's kitchen.

Ten minutes later, Vanya settled herself into the chair across from Five, a fresh pot of coffee between them.

“Bad dreams, huh?”

“Ngh.” 

“You wanna elaborate on that?”

Five shook his head, feeling the tears well up again, cursing himself for being so soft.

Vanya reached across the table, taking hold of Five’s hand, which was clenched into a fist so tight, his nails were nearly breaking the skin. “I have nightmares too, Five. I think we all do. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Five frowned and took a gulp of coffee, realizing the poor choice after he’d made it, sadly, and winced at the burning in his throat. 

“Was it about us, Five?”

“It was...it was the end of the world, the apocalypse, Vanya.” His voice cracked, and god, he hated himself for it. 

“Well, were we in it?”

“Why?”

“You’re obviously upset, Five. I don’t think the apocalypse alone is enough to make you cry.”

“You’re pushy, Vanya.”

“Were we?”

“Yes!” He slammed his hands down on the table, noticing with some satisfaction that his sister jumped a bit. “You were in it, all of you, and you were _dead. Bloody and dirty and dead._ And your eyes were open. Just yours. Big ol’ end of the world and only one person left in it.”

“Five..”

But he had started, and he knew that if he stopped, he’d cry again. 

“Quite a lovely time I had, spending years out there with my sibling’s corpses. You should try it sometime. I daresay it beats being locked up, beaten, or sent off to the moon, at least. Because it doesn’t end. You don’t get any...any _less dead_. You-”

And the tears did come then, and Five stood, shoving his chair backwards, sweeping his mug off the table, the ceramic and the remainder of the coffee crashing to the floor.

But Vanya had stepped in front of him, blocking him from bolting for the door, and she wrapped her arms around him, letting him cry into her sweater, grasp unwavering even as Five sank to the ground again, unable to stand anymore. They sat like that until Five had seemingly cried himself out, pulling back from his sister, realizing, to his chagrin, that he’d inadvertently had his pants leg in the puddle of spilled coffee. Vanya handed him a paper towel, and Five grimaced, before setting to the task of cleaning the mess. 

“Do you feel better now?”

“I guess.”

“It’s four a.m., if you were wondering. You should get some sleep.”

Five trembled at the thought. “Don’t want to go back again tonight.”

“Understandable.” Vanya knelt next to him, picking the ceramic shards off of the floor. “At least rest a bit, though.”

“I was checking on you guys, y’know.” Five paused in cleaning, eyes meeting his sister’s. “I don’t know why, but I had to make sure you were all alive, yeah?”

Vanya turned from the garbage, where she’d been dumping the mug pieces, and swiftly hugged her brother. “We’re all okay, Five, I promise.” 

He nodded. 

“And yes, Klaus looks like roadkill sometimes-”

“Sometimes?”

“Okay, all the time, then. Anyways, we're not going anywhere, at least not anytime soon, okay Five?”

“Yeah.”


End file.
